Relationships and the related issues are a common topic of discussion with oneself or with others, more common than the air molecules around us. They touch every neuron of ours. As every name stored on our mind of a person is a relation and brings along inevitably a lot of thoughts, some conscious and others sub-conscious.
I have heard a lot of complains from a lot of people - That "we knew and were bonded for a decade and more, How could you do this to me?" Its like the Lantern, the strength of the flame can be controlled with the knob, but once the fuel is extinct inside the container, no matter how much you turn the knob or play around with that little lantern, you cannot hope to see the flame again, until you refuel it and trigger the flame with a splinter.
All I mean to say is that - though the amount of time spent with an individual accumulates greater number of memories in our life, if the recent ones are bad, and the misconceptions are high, then the re-inforcement of these bad memories of recent past repeatedly, will overshadow the strength and good memories of the relationship, and soon be a great reason & a valid one of course, to break the thread of this relation, leaving it into pieces and can bring it back only with a knot.
The mother who gives birth to a child, brings an entity into the world, whom she knows not, not more than until 9 months ago, she knew she concieved this life, but the strength of this relation is beyond our understanding.
Its the dreams of the future with this individual already built, for years before this life was concieved, and the emotional bonding, attachment and the feeling of possessing this life nurtured for long that decides the strength.
Likewise there are times when we have seen people who have met a few days, years or months ago, and they claim they would be partners for life long, Is a direct effect of the feelings and their strength is due to innumerous self-re-inforcements of the emotions of dreams of future together they would love to build.
The strength of relation goes to an extent, that history is a proof, for people who got wed beyond the desires of society, they could cut through the societal pressures, the pressures from society are nothing but relational pressures, which fall small in front of the strength of the relation. In case the emotional strength is not enough to combat the societal pressures, the re-inforcements are not strong enough, the reverse decisions are claimed in some cases.
But cases where we see people get attached to something/someone and get deeply engrossed into that relation with time, are the ones who materialise the strongest relations and then there are not many forces more powerful than death, that can result in breakage.
But there is a lesson - "THE LANTERN LESSON"... the relations are subject to change, the fuel is the reason for the flame, One needs to keep the flame going, keep the fuelling the lantern, and never let it extinct, keep the knob turned towards "high" symbol - then you enjoy long lasting permanent, and ever jovial and pleasure giving relationships.
The direct question on the mind of the reader now, is obvious -"what is this fuel all about?" - Its the dreams of future, recollection of past memories(the ones that are positive and make you happy), re-inforcements of trust, re-inforcements of pride in the relation, re-inforcement of satisfaction of the presence of the other entity/individual in our life.
This concept of relationship - applies to organisations you are working for, applicable to ensure your teams working with you attached with you and your organisation, the people you are attached to, your relationships(life-partners), your bonding with your family and friends.
Even a kinder-garten student can now conclude - "what is enmity? who is an enemy?"
and how can these negative feelings be eliminated!
Hope you readers enjoyed this piece of article, its just the thoughts that conjured over a period of time, when I stand and look back at my life, which is cluster of relationships, some broken, some rejoiced, some strengthened, some beyond the scope of understanding and some that i enjoy even today!
IF you have any issues with anyone/anything just forgive, forget and start loving again.
"Either you Curb the grudges/negatives and live everyday till you die or Keep the grudges/negatives and die everyday till you live!" ~ sujit lalwani
May god bless you all with long lasting relationships - really strong and long ones!
(The column below is for you, to extend the warmth you feel for this blog!)
Sujit Lalwani's OFFICIAL Blog
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Friday, March 13, 2009
Ego Kills Love! Lets kill the EGO before it kills Love...!!!
A masterpiece story I came across, For those of you, who have already read this one, I am sure you will agree with me, that its worth reinforcing a thousand times. Its the story about the hypothetical island that existed, which was home for all different feelings that exist on the face of the earth today. Let me start in a classical story telling way "Once upon a time....
Once upon a time..., there was an island called FEELINGS ISLAND, which was home to all types of feelings. Joy, Love, Ego, care, Shame, Hatred, Magnanimity, generosity, kindness, shyness, audacity, disgust, frustration, jealousy, atheism etc. All the feelings we can think of. Now, staying together on the same island, they had a great time with each other. Each feeling played its role in a indefatigably glib manner, never drifting from its own role.
It was just another pleasant morning sunrise, that this island saw, when 'jealousy' was the first one to get ready, as it is jealous of everybody else, so wants to be first at everything. 'Care' was taking care of everything and everybody. 'Love' was loving everybody and spreading smiles. 'Hatred' was absuing everybody and hating everybody for unique reasons. 'Ego' was sitting in one corner not mingling with anybody, was in its own world, for it felt it was better than everybody else. Activity was normal as everyday, Until 'panic' alarmed everybody by jumping around the entire island, and screaming - "Tsunami" " Tsunami" ... !!!
Love and Care took notice of this and immediately arranged for boats to travel to the next island. They sent everybody on them. Jealousy was the first one to get in, while hatred was still hating this happening. But things went on, everybody was busy saving their lives, While love and care were sending everybody.
What nobody took notice, but 'love' did take notice, was someone, sitting in one corner, not sitting into any of the boats. 'Love' reached out to him, to see who he was, it was 'EGO'. 'Love' said, "my dear friend come with me, else you will die here." After all, it was 'ego'. It kept refusing, while love kept forcing him to come along. 'Ego' kept rejecting.
'Care' tied the boat to the shore, waiting for these two to come. Unfortunately, 'careless' was on the same boat, it broke the string, that tied the boat to the shore. 'Love' did not get scared, it still loved careless, while it kept forcing the 'ego' to still come along.
The last boat left from there, Tsunami arrived, taking away the two lives on the Island.
MORAL OF THE STORY: "EGO" always drowns, but dont forget it takes LOVE alongwith it. Wherever 'EGO' exists Love always gets killed.
So my dear friends, lets submerge our ego, as far as possible and start enjoying a much better life. For, ego kills love alongwith itself. Every relation starts looking more beautiful, when EGO gets eliminated. Lets make efforts to kill that element in us.
I hope you found this blog helpful, promote it to all your friends, I am sure its going to eliminate a lot of ego from this beautiful planet earth.
EGO - Eliminates Growing Opportunities.
LOVE - Life Opens Various Exceptions. (expcetionally amazing things start happening)
Jai hind!
Keep Rocking!
You are reader no. :
Once upon a time..., there was an island called FEELINGS ISLAND, which was home to all types of feelings. Joy, Love, Ego, care, Shame, Hatred, Magnanimity, generosity, kindness, shyness, audacity, disgust, frustration, jealousy, atheism etc. All the feelings we can think of. Now, staying together on the same island, they had a great time with each other. Each feeling played its role in a indefatigably glib manner, never drifting from its own role.
It was just another pleasant morning sunrise, that this island saw, when 'jealousy' was the first one to get ready, as it is jealous of everybody else, so wants to be first at everything. 'Care' was taking care of everything and everybody. 'Love' was loving everybody and spreading smiles. 'Hatred' was absuing everybody and hating everybody for unique reasons. 'Ego' was sitting in one corner not mingling with anybody, was in its own world, for it felt it was better than everybody else. Activity was normal as everyday, Until 'panic' alarmed everybody by jumping around the entire island, and screaming - "Tsunami" " Tsunami" ... !!!
Love and Care took notice of this and immediately arranged for boats to travel to the next island. They sent everybody on them. Jealousy was the first one to get in, while hatred was still hating this happening. But things went on, everybody was busy saving their lives, While love and care were sending everybody.
What nobody took notice, but 'love' did take notice, was someone, sitting in one corner, not sitting into any of the boats. 'Love' reached out to him, to see who he was, it was 'EGO'. 'Love' said, "my dear friend come with me, else you will die here." After all, it was 'ego'. It kept refusing, while love kept forcing him to come along. 'Ego' kept rejecting.
'Care' tied the boat to the shore, waiting for these two to come. Unfortunately, 'careless' was on the same boat, it broke the string, that tied the boat to the shore. 'Love' did not get scared, it still loved careless, while it kept forcing the 'ego' to still come along.
The last boat left from there, Tsunami arrived, taking away the two lives on the Island.
MORAL OF THE STORY: "EGO" always drowns, but dont forget it takes LOVE alongwith it. Wherever 'EGO' exists Love always gets killed.
So my dear friends, lets submerge our ego, as far as possible and start enjoying a much better life. For, ego kills love alongwith itself. Every relation starts looking more beautiful, when EGO gets eliminated. Lets make efforts to kill that element in us.
I hope you found this blog helpful, promote it to all your friends, I am sure its going to eliminate a lot of ego from this beautiful planet earth.
EGO - Eliminates Growing Opportunities.
LOVE - Life Opens Various Exceptions. (expcetionally amazing things start happening)
Jai hind!
Keep Rocking!
You are reader no. :
Saturday, March 7, 2009
THE VISCIOUS CIRCLE OF LIFE.
Folks this blog is for those who fall in love and are hurt feeling that they have lost their love in this life.
I met a friend of mine, she told me she was at a stand point in her life where she had to choose between her love and her parents. Meaning she had to surrender to her parents to get herself an arranged marriage. The irony of the indian traditional societal daughter or a son is that they fall in love, without feeling the boundaries of societies, but when the time comes where the crucial decision needs to be made, most of them surrender in front of the blackmailing talks of family members and relatives about their reputation if the marriage were to be intercaste.
And in some cases it is still a hit on the reputation even if its a love marriage, depending on the constraints of the society. The child is not happy marrying the person who is selected for him/her, which is at the compromise of his/her love, and person who gets wed with him/her, is also not happy as he/she is always knowing tht his/her partner (the one who lost his/her love) is always looking for the old partner in the new face.
Eventually after a spell of a few years the person gets convinced that you dont always get what you want out life and you need to love what you get - and that becomes the thumbrule. For some, thumbrules are not formed and they continue to live in the agony of loss of love...
Some of them elope and thats considered a sin. If the marriage was allowed which would have only yielded a happy couple, while the families could be adjusting with each other, it would have made so many things simpler. This simple solution is thought over a million times and rejected to yield a whole new world of impossiblites for the ones who fell in love. The fight then begins.
These individuals who would have fallen prey to this societal constraints decide to ensure that their kids wont to have go through the trauma. While they realise when eventually the time comes for the marriage of their kids, they would have also got so woven into the cloth of the socitey that they are ones who impose conditions again. The circle hence repeats again..
This is what i describe as THE VISCIOUS CIRCLE OF LIFE.
Someone somewhere in this tree needs to initiate a route out of this circle to ensure a whole new dimension gets added to the way the tree then grows.
Are you a part of the same circle? Have you fallen in love? Does this apply to you? Do comment..
I met a friend of mine, she told me she was at a stand point in her life where she had to choose between her love and her parents. Meaning she had to surrender to her parents to get herself an arranged marriage. The irony of the indian traditional societal daughter or a son is that they fall in love, without feeling the boundaries of societies, but when the time comes where the crucial decision needs to be made, most of them surrender in front of the blackmailing talks of family members and relatives about their reputation if the marriage were to be intercaste.
And in some cases it is still a hit on the reputation even if its a love marriage, depending on the constraints of the society. The child is not happy marrying the person who is selected for him/her, which is at the compromise of his/her love, and person who gets wed with him/her, is also not happy as he/she is always knowing tht his/her partner (the one who lost his/her love) is always looking for the old partner in the new face.
Eventually after a spell of a few years the person gets convinced that you dont always get what you want out life and you need to love what you get - and that becomes the thumbrule. For some, thumbrules are not formed and they continue to live in the agony of loss of love...
Some of them elope and thats considered a sin. If the marriage was allowed which would have only yielded a happy couple, while the families could be adjusting with each other, it would have made so many things simpler. This simple solution is thought over a million times and rejected to yield a whole new world of impossiblites for the ones who fell in love. The fight then begins.
These individuals who would have fallen prey to this societal constraints decide to ensure that their kids wont to have go through the trauma. While they realise when eventually the time comes for the marriage of their kids, they would have also got so woven into the cloth of the socitey that they are ones who impose conditions again. The circle hence repeats again..
This is what i describe as THE VISCIOUS CIRCLE OF LIFE.
Someone somewhere in this tree needs to initiate a route out of this circle to ensure a whole new dimension gets added to the way the tree then grows.
Are you a part of the same circle? Have you fallen in love? Does this apply to you? Do comment..
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